It’s NOT a Green Thumb

How about that moment when your thumb falls overboard and gets a dip in your old food? I’m not talking about opening a dated melted chocolate bar and getting a lick of delicious cocoa, but that unfortunate touch of your own poo skid on your thumb.

It feels like it takes a million extra wipes after your thumb gets inked, due to the anxious panic to wash that shit off. And after your initial mission is complete… insert new dilemma:

Can I pull my pants up without using my thumb, or do I need to shimmy to the sink for the scrub of the century?

This is just one of the reasons the bathroom door is a shut door. Whatever happens in there is generally put away in a personal lock box in your brain. You would never excuse yourself from a dinner party, take a poop, get it on your thumb, then come back to the table with your experience in the Necessary Room as the topic of discussion.

“Pass the gravy, Joe? You’ll never believe what just happened?!”

Nope! Bathroom happenings are your very own secret comedy. This is why there is nothing that makes me laugh more than an open discussion about farts and poo. We teach our kids that “Everyone Poos,” but at some point we learn that no one really talks about it.

But, lets face it, it’s two thumbs up hilarious… if you think about it.

May your sink be near and your water be hot.


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